After I celebrated my 29th birthday in July, I made a promise to myself. I would step out of my comfort zone, live life abundantly, live life my way and by my standards and get to the best shape of my life.
What have I done and how have I been managing so far? Some of my days have been interesting and others have just been dreary and consequently made me weary to say the least.
August was mostly #hatemyjob but I spent a lot of time with family, I even met family members from my father’s side, I spent a lot of time persuading myself to do shit, and I went on vacation.
September was relaxing on account of me being on vacation and it was challenging at the same time. I let go of my fear and let my boyfriend teach me how to swim. When I went back to work I tried to change my attitude towards my job. I coaxed myself to engage in “small talk,” which just feels so fake, insincere and too damn “polite”. At the same time I wanted to live in a damn bubble so that I didn’t have to deal with people who irritated me but instead of retreating, I pushed back. I decided if people are going to be insensitive and oblivious to the pain they cause, then I needed to stop internalizing my feelings, being quiet and give them a fight. I have been asserting myself since and I am trying my hardest to rid myself of this habit of retreating inside myself. I am just very tired of people thinking they can just say shit to me ALL.the.damn.time!
September was about the same time when I realized that people tend to confuse me being friendly as automatically translating to us being friends so I am working on making my boundaries clear. And oh yeah, in September my relationship hit a rough patch.
October was relatively good to me. I helped my family members celebrate their birthdays as best I could. I accompanied my boyfriend to visit his parents. As it turned out, I wasn’t as uncomfortable as I thought I would be. I actually had a pretty good time; I even had curried beef for the first time.
November has been good thus far. There has been a change on the job front, if only for a little while. I assumed a new temporary role in my office, one that I happily accepted because it gives me the chance to do something different, to apply my recently acquired knowledge in training and development and best of all, I get a little bump in pay and the requisite experience to add to my resume/portfolio. I’m very grateful for this opportunity that November has brought. I resumed dance classes and am thoroughly enjoying them.
All I can say is that the progress is slow but sure and today, I woke up feeling like I can really do this thing called life.
Cheers to me!